GrEasEMonKeY

he’s my dad. he’s my dad i say. he is so calm and collected. but still he has that fiery fire within him. you cannot help but look at him with awe and fear all at the same time. this mixed up feeling, weird as it is, maybe is what they call respect.

he’s my dad. he’s my dad i say. the blood of his runs through my veins. the traits of him all passed down to me. but i don’t think i can match his poise and grace. he makes it look easy but at the same time he makes it so hard to achieve.

he’s my dad. he’s my dad i say. he is awesome, to me, his son. he is a class of his own. he does things in a way that i don’t think possible. he has a dream, too.a dream that someday, he could, build an institute, where the younger generation can learn the things he learned, learn the things beyond that, too.

he’s my dad. he’s my dad i say. he didn’t dream for an empire. sure, its all bussiness. but he stayed grounded. grounded to his family, being a father to his children, a husband to his wife, a brother to his siblings, son to his parents.

he’s close, but so far away.

he’s my dad. he’s my dad i say.

so this is it. i’m in a middle of something i dont want to. nah actually im just drifting away along with all these thoughts.

well blogs, sometime ago is something not many like to do. but now, its spreading like wildfire! i mean damn! all of us are into it right?

teenagers, no, younger generations like me tend to believe the blogs more than news on the tv itself. aint it?

cuz here its untapped. we’re free to say whatever we thought. but its not always good u know.

we have to respect the borderline.

be it talking politics or simply letting out the anger within, please, i mean it, please dont take it out so much it discourages people to not read ur blog.

at the end of the day, that is exactly why we use the time to write one. for others to read it.

if u really wanna take it all out, take it out with fashionable way. haha

it s a month since my birthday. a month i’ve been 21. i dunno man but it seems like its changin’. although it is, i can’t help the feeling that it stays the same.

i’m still ballin. still single. but i’m gettin’ better. that’s the thing that i can think about right now. hahaha.

i see now there are responsibilities i have to take up to my shoulders.i need to set an example for my younger siblings. i need to fulfill the expectation of my parents. i need to do something with my life so that i can make it tomorrow.

but you know what, everything around me is changin as well. i can talk to dad about stuff. when i was a kid i don’t have the nerve to talk with dad about things. i don’t know what to talk about. it’s changin, me and him.

my sibling are getting older, so are everyone around me. they are starting to understand me more. they’re starting to fight with me more. they’re starting to think for themselves, which is a good thing.

mom has always been mom. she’s my sun. i guess that never change.

enuff with change. i heard in a movie, change is nature. so all that is natural as you go forward.

i look back in my life, all the opportunities, chances i let slip by me. thinking about it makes me all tense. i lost the opportunity to study at UTP, lost my shot for UTM, lost my shot to study at German, lost a shot to get a girlfriend, lost this, lost that, blablabla… but all that made me what i am now. that is what matters. it is one’s rezeki.

i look back at the thing i have done throughout my life. i hurt people’s hearts, i hurt myself, i was insecure, i was lonely, i was indecisive, i was hasty. all that wrongdoings of mine led me here. it led me here. that is what matters.

at the end of the day, you just have to go forward. forward is the only way. there’s no turning back.

all the things that i have done, all the friends that i knew, all the confrontation that i encountered, all lead to this.

it leads to a guy, loyal to his family, loves his mom, single, and downright basketball freak.

i would like to recall of what gerakan head (datuk koh tsu koon right?) said last night on tv3. malaysians are too deep into the politics they all forgot what’s important, the 3 F (fuel, food and finance). without these three, we’re doomed. so he urges us malaysians to put our thinking caps and working gears on, its time to dig.

this ‘politiking’ phenomenon, is not pretty. its not something to be proud about, especially in malaysia, a developing country. the last thing we want for out country is a civil war. and sparks can lead to fire. fire can lead to…. destruction. we’re not pheonix, we can’t pop out of the ashes. it takes time. and life is not entirely fair. so what might happen is the outside entity might take this to their advantage, and u know, sending in troops and yeah, makes our country theirs.

this is not to our liking, be it the opposition or the government. stop with this petty fights. we’re a nation, not a person. if we are to support a person, this person is suppose to carry the nation. so far, it is okay, but our ringgit is falling as the US is on the verge of a crisis.

so if we carry on with this ‘politiking’, we’re gonna fall. government, should come up with a way. opposition too. and the exchange of ideas, be it a debate or anything else, as long as we put a thought to it, we can pull through.

see through the ordinary.

i’ll write. if i have the time. which is, not the luxury that i have. hahaha. catch ya readers later. chow

i stand for who i think is tellin the truth. well, my dads tells me the truth. news? i dunno. azlan? i guess i gotta tell you guys. i believe in him. he swore to god. to god. and that molester? its hard to belive, but that azlan guy swore to god. kite tau la sape betul kat padang nnt ye x?

my dad told me a story. a story that took place about ten years ago. ten years ago cars that is above 5 years cannot be refinanced. well i dunno the numbers but interest rates are sky high at that time. well who’s the minister of finance? that molester.

and the guy everyone loved to hate comes along and wipes those gawat for good. that guy people calls tun. the doctor. the so-called bad guy. yeah, you got it right. mahathir stepped in and cleared the mess. and after ten years, people are only talking about him bein the bad guy. who boasts beyond compare.

the young ones dont even know. they cant fathom the complexity of this problem. i am naive.i thought all of malays can be united. but today the fight is different.

the fight is not about independence anymore. its about protecting the integrity of our race. malays. without compromising other races roaming this free country. some of us thinks that special treatment towards malays should be diminished. well for the older generation this is like putting out a fire they tried so hard to keep alive. that cannot be done. it must be prevented.

i stand with the older generation. i stand beside my father. i stand beside malays who protect their integrity. they have suffered enough. that time, 10 years ago, people jobless, distressed. now they get to choose between molester and protector. i know its hard to choose, molester or protector. its hard. a man that almost sold us to the IMF. for the old ones, i guess this is their stand. “if sacrificing one man is enough to keep malay dignity alive, then sacrificing that one man is necessary. it is for greater good.

or is it?

last time i wrote a blog? its one month ago. no, two… i cant remember… tuning to the game- one blood now… i’m not bored, its just that i got nothing to do. no, i want to do nothing. hahaha.

its almost one month since the sem started.. gettin to get the hang of living at ur own house. i mean u rent the house u get a sense of belonging. we got our first electric bill the other day. guess what? 150! what the hell?!! we’re so shocked. at that time the streamyx is not even on yet. hell no. yesterday one guy came sayin he got to cut off electricity cause of the payment due. damn!

i’m confused of the numbers on that thing, u noe, used to measure our usage. hahaha. they were off by, like 1000 units! no wonder they charged us 150. for things we didnt even use. darn.  we got to tnb right after that guy about to cut off the juice for good. and guess what? 3 months of usage is only 100 somethin.. 3 months man… we paid 30 ringgit for this month.. well thats the amount were supposed to be payin~ and yeah we already paid 150. that is like 5 months in advance.

glad the problem solved, and the juice is no longer a nuisance. hahaha.

2.70… now they say they cant afford to pamper us anymore. time to wake up, brother. i mean think about it. how can an island, no, people living in an island, buy up fuel way much expensive? come on man, snap out of it. they cant give us what we want all the time.. if i can think of ways, cant u guys? there are so many ways to save. u could, if u want, shed off that lifestyle which makes u spend more on fuel, right? if its tearing ur dignity to share with others, u cannot be saved then~ and yeah, celtics are going to win until onli game 6, nadal are going to win, n yeah, italians gooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

lets talk about challenges. i mean, a ball player like me face challenges when i play.. intimidated, nervous, all that is there. but then i found a qoute, no. that qoute came to me (by mail). michael jordan said being nervous is always a must. but fear? he has no fear whatsoever. bring it, i won’t back down from a fight. by the way, experience has made me to appreciate a high level difficulty fight. yeah? i guess so. it’s what i like to call, excitement. doing something that is hard. and be able to pull through. the best feeling in the world. that way, your rep goes up. heheh

i love this game.